Quality versus Quantity. That eternal dilemma. For me at least. I used to lie awake at night working out my likely lifespan based on the average ages of my four grandparents. I figured that with my relatively healthy lifestyle, I was a sure thing to reach 90.
Ninety felt like forever away and I felt content that I would have a long future ahead of me. Plenty of time. I still had 2/3 of my life ahead of me. More in front than behind. What a great position to be in.
Then I got cancer. Regardless of whether the cancer returns, my life is more likely to be shorter than I once thought. I wonder now that if it did come back, knowing it would be terminal as there is currently no real cure for secondary cancer, would I choose to go through treatment again.
Would I choose to be so very sick, with no energy, sleeping most of the day, wishing it would end, in the hope that the treatment might add months, or if lucky, a year, to my life? Or would I prefer to make the most of my time left. Prioritising the people and the places that I’d like to spend my precious time, feeling well, at least initially. I’d be able to enjoy food, and think clearly. I’d be able to make more choices about what to do with my time, albeit shortened. Short but sweet perhaps?
Not having children would help make the decision easier I think. People want to live for their children, their family, their milestones. I wouldn’t necessarily have that and maybe that would make my decision easier to choose quality over quantity.
One thing’s for sure, irrespective of how long I have I’m aiming for a high quality of life every single day. Maybe you should too.