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I started this blog as I entered my 40th year, and now firmly in my 40s, I continue to learn so much about life. I'm learning that life rarely goes according to plan and that there's something new to learn every single day, be it a subtle nudge or a smack in the face.... This is my blog about muddling through my 40s-working hard, writing a book, being an ammateur photographer, trying to exercise and eat well, endeavouring to be the world's best aunt, as well as having fun and laughing out loud every single day.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

#47 Under the Red Dress - A Controversy

Over the last couple of days you may have seen, read or heard about a story presented here in this article.

A friend just emailed me about it to ask what I think.  Here is my response to her:

Ok, I have seen this stuff on Facebook. I think I have a balanced view of it (if you can believe that).

Some background - I belong to a young women's facebook page where they always post photos of surgical scars, implants, nipples, swelling, rashes, burns etc. Some of the time I wish I wasn't confronted with unpleasant images, sometimes I don't mind. Maybe I'd like the option of whether I looked or not.....

I like the idea behind this woman's plight. It makes sense, and she is driving home the prevention message which is so important (and strikes home for me about the dilemma with some of my own family members' refusal to consider prevention/avoidance that I still don't understand.

Are the images pornographic? Of course they're not. Are they difficult to look at? Yes, for some people they would be.  They are confronting, especially if you are unfamiliar with the types of surgery required to treat and prevent breast cancer.

This is something I'm very cautious of, as seeing me naked would be like seeing her naked ..... it may make some people uncomfortable and it plays a part in why I am not out there dating for dating's sake, you know?

Was she brave putting them out there - hell yeah. I'd never do that in a million years, yet I bare my emotional soul to a degree.... is there a difference, I don't know.

Did people reject her because she did the wrong thing? Or did they reject her because their fear was too much?  Who knows. 
That's the thing with social media and in life. You can't please all the people all the time.

This is my friend's response.  Thanks N. x

"Regarding the article (and I’m being completely honest), it does seem to be the trendy and “brave” thing to do these days, so I was a bit “ho hum” to start with.  Having said that, I do think about you every time I see something like this so it does affect me more than anyone who hasn’t been exposed to a friend or relative having had cancer.  It did make me think about how “attractive” women are when they are all kitted out and yet you don’t know what is going on underneath.  It also made me feel stupid for focusing on my body so much.  I think most people would find it too confronting and be offended simply because they don’t want to see anything that is not the ideal.  Why do we reject anything that is not the standard beauty and get offended by normalcy??  Even though she had cancer and that is why her body looks the way it does, most women out there have similar stuff going on naturally!  They must get offended looking at themselves every day!!  Poor us….. we are all so screwed up.  Unfortunately (and I think I inadvertently came to this conclusion by reading back what I just wrote) – it might be that her message about prevention has been lost to the topic of body image and today’s ideal of what beauty is."

What are your thoughts?


  1. I agree that it's important to create awareness for all diseases. I personally would not want to post pictures of my own scars, but sometimes younger people in particular need to see things to believe them.


  2. Thanks Julie. It's definitely eye opening and not something I think you could imagine unless you've been somewhat exposed to the depth of surgery required often for reconstruction etc.


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