Singledom is relatively new to me. I've been quite the little serial monogomist since age 15 with only two 6 month long periods on my own. Some would say that is not healthy. But, that's just how my life worked out.
I ran into an old school friend the other day who said that she had recently started seeing someone after a two year break from relationships. I have just clocked up twelve months and we both agreed that it has been wonderful and liberating to remove the pressure that comes with the expectation that one "should" be in a relationship.
It's not without its moments of course, but the worst part for me is often the burden of having to be responsible for everything - house work, finances, cooking, changing the doona cover! Domesticity certainly eats well into my precious Bucket List time.
As does my inability to say no. This is definitely where my work/life balance falls down. The struggle to stick to the boundaries I set for myself in regard to the number of clients I see in a day is endless. I'm a sucker for a sob story. Completely wrapped around the finger of anyone who utters the words "I really need to see you today". We all need to be needed, right???
On Thursdays I get it right. I still work hard, but I get to leave a little early to pick my nephews up from school and spend a fabulous couple of hours with them before taking them to karate. Thursday afternoons are definitely the highlight of my week. Afterward, I manage to exercise, catch up with friends, and when I'm lucky, I also have time to write. Heaven.
Sometimes, every other day of the week however, feels like it does not belong to me. Between, more work, exercise, camera club, writing assignments, cooking, eating well, and feeling completely 'peopled' out, I often come up short when it comes to finding time for my friends. Sometimes I simply have nothing left.
Therein lies the struggle. And so, a heartfelt shout-out:
To all of my beautiful and patient friends, please do not take my irregular contact personally. Rest assured, I am making it my life's work to strike the balance I so desire, to be a calmer person and more present friend.
All my love,
- I started this blog as I entered my 40th year, and now firmly in my 40s, I continue to learn so much about life. I'm learning that life rarely goes according to plan and that there's something new to learn every single day, be it a subtle nudge or a smack in the face.... This is my blog about muddling through my 40s-working hard, writing a book, being an ammateur photographer, trying to exercise and eat well, endeavouring to be the world's best aunt, as well as having fun and laughing out loud every single day.