#35 The Battle of the Bulge

It is so true that in general, weight loss all comes down to what we put in our mouth. 

Exercise all you like, but if you are then going to reward yourself for your work-out with as much junk food as you like, chances are you won't make the gains you're hoping for.

Over the course of chemotherapy, I put on 10 kilos.  Initially, the side-effects of the steroids I took made me gain weight, as well as increasing my appetite.  As you might have gathered, I'm very good at self-compassion and self-reward.  If I had to go through chemotherapy and cancer, I was going to make the experience as pleasant as possible.

After one cycle of chemotherapy, I finished work at 4pm and craved some form of fat.  I called into the local fish and chip shop on the way home and bought four potato cakes.  If you don't know what this is, it's a thick slice of potato dipped in batter and deep fried.  It is disgusting..... disgustingly good!

Let's just say, I ate like that a lot.  And it didn't stop when chemo did.  Three years later I was still treating and rewarding myself with food and other luxuries.

I don't want to paint the wrong picture, I mean, it's not like anyone else would have looked at me and thought much of the weight gain.  I was fairly underweight beforehand which helped.  But, I felt uncomfortable.  My clothes didn't fit well and my fat clothes became my skinny clothes.

Then one day towards the end of last year, my friend Em suggested we do the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation program.  It was the best thing I've ever done.  It combines an eating plan with an exercise plan.  With a sprained ankle and some surgery in the middle of the program, I didn't actually do much exercise.  I did however, follow the calorie controlled eating plan.

The food was all delicious and different to what I'd normally cook.  It interested me and more importantly, it satisfied me.  I learnt a lot about controlling my calorie intake for the day and I lost 5kg over the 12 weeks.  It was perfect for me.  Just the right amount, proving to myself that at 41, I could still change my body.

It astounded me the number of empty calories I'd been putting in my mouth.  Two chocolates here, some Teddy Bear biscuits there, a piece of hedgehog because I'd had a difficult afternoon, a bag of lollies because I felt tired.

Sadly, the program ended and Christmas arrived.  I've fallen off the wagon BIG TIME and have put a couple of kilos back on.  It's not the end of the world, but it has taught me that for me it's all or nothing.  My lack of self-control doesn't allow me to have just one chocolate.

I want to re-create my good eating habits, so I'm starting today and I'm going to give you a weekly update to keep myself honest.

I'll let you know how I'm doing, where I struggle and whether or not I can figure out any foolproof ways to win the battle.

Feel free to share your tips here!

#33 The Curse of Social Media

Lately, I've been driving past a man, who used to be a boy who went to my primary school.  I'm pretty sure his name is Wayne.

Wayne wasn't like all the other kids.  He was very quiet and shy and didn't have many friends.  He was also a little over weight and wore less fashionable clothes.  Wayne was a couple of years older than me.

My main memory of Wayne was on the last day of school - his last day of Grade 6.  The teachers were handing out icy poles and Wayne refused to take one.  Mr Reiners said, "It's just frozen water Wayne, you can have one." but still he refused.  Instead, he ran laps around the oval.  He'd been losing weight.

Wayne had already figured out that High School would eat him alive, so he tried his hardest to reduce the reasons the other kids would have to pick on him for.

I didn't see him again after that day, until recently - a thousand years later.  He clearly survived High School and is still walking regularly.  Maybe that means he doesn't drive a car.  I wonder if he works.  His clothes are still a little out of date.  I hope he has some friends.

We didn't even get a telephone in our house until I was at high school.  Even then, it was in the kitchen, with a short cord.  Mum and Dad could hear every word and phone calls were only allowed between certain times.  If we hadn't arranged to see friends on the weekend or school holidays, we literally had no contact with them.

Kids these days are in contact 24/7.  It's scary to consider.  Through Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Kick and who knows what else, they know what one another are doing ALL THE TIME.  They are acutely aware when they are excluded from a party or other weekend activity.  If someone wants to be mean, they have so many options for how to go about it. 

Photos are taken without permission and shared relentlessly.  They don't understand the permanence of what they're doing or the potential risks they face when they are deciding who they can trust.  Some of them are literally becoming distributors of pornography.  Can you even imagine?

In a way I am relieved for Wayne.  At least he had a reprieve, in the safety of his own home once the horrors of his school day ended.

Some kids today don't have anywhere to go that is safe from those who taunt them.

#34 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Have you ever seen Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid? 

It's a Steve Martin film that came out in 1982, shot in black and white and made with snippets from a heap of old films starring people like Humphrey Bogart, Carey Grant and Ingrid Bergman.  It is so very clever.

Anyway, Steve Martin's character goes crazy anytime someone says "cleaning woman" because his father ran off with the cleaning woman, leaving his mother to die with a broken heart.

Today I got my own "cleaning woman" and it reminded me of this film. 

Pre-cancer I was a cleaner, more organised person.  I washed my car every weekend and nothing was ever out of place.

Post-cancer, I can't think of a worse way to spend my precious life than cleaning.  It's such a thankless task.  Hours are spent cleaning and for a brief few moments, that sense of reward sinks in..... until someone moves and it's dirty again.

Can I afford a cleaning woman on a single person's salary with a big mortgage?  Probably not.

Can I afford NOT to have a cleaning woman?  I don't think so!!

#31 Striking The Perfect Balance

One of my goals for this year is to publish a weekly article promoting good mental health, in a local publication.  This is an example of what I'd like to produce.

I'd love to know your thoughts, as well as some ideas about the types of articles that would interest you.

Striking the Perfect Balance

Just like any stable and reliable structure, good mental health requires a solid foundation.  The keys to a secure foundation are balance and consistency.

We all love a good catch-phrase and “Work-Life Balance” is up there with the best of them.  It’s often spoken about, but what does it really mean and how well do any of us truly ‘live’ it?

To simplify matters, we can break most of our tasks in life into four categories: 

Achievement Activities:  Anything that we do that is goal focussed and provides us with a sense of accomplishment at its completion.  Our ‘have to’ tasks tend to fit into this category as well.  E.g. work; household chores; errands; study etc.

Pleasant Activities:  All of the things we do that we enjoy and that make us feel good.  This category includes all of our leisure and pleasure activities.  For example: reading; watching a movie; travel; having a massage; gardening; drawing, etc.

Social Activities:  Whenever we spend meaningful time connecting with others, we are being social.  This can include face-to-face contact, but also telephone, Skype, email, social networking.  E.g. coffee with a friend; dinner parties; BBQ; visiting friends or family etc.

Physical Activities:  Any activity that requires us to move our body.  The World Health Organisation (WHO) suggests that we ‘move’ at least 30 minutes every day, at least five days per week.  It doesn’t even have to be consecutive e.g. you could do ten minutes of physical exercise, three times per day.  For example: gym; walking; running; cycling; taking the stairs; swimming etc.

What you’ve probably already noticed is that many things that we do fit into more than one of the above categories.  How great is that?! 

Walking with a friend on the beach is a physical activity, a pleasant activity AND a social activity.  It might even be an achievement.

Gardening can be an achievement, physical and pleasant.

The key is to make sure you are participating in enough activities in ALL of the categories on a regular basis.  Many of us are very good at completing ‘Achievement’ type tasks but we struggle to find time to fit in exercise or time to catch up with our friends as often as we’d like.  I’ve noticed that many of us don’t even remember what we love to do.

When an imbalance occurs and we’re doing too much of one thing and not enough of others, we increase our risk of stress.  If that continues for a long enough period of time, the risk of developing other mental health issues increases.

I challenge you to think about your own life balance.  It’s not rocket science.  If you are feeling tired or stressed, low or anxious, it’s time to make some changes. 

If we are not feeling our best, we need to do more of the things that make us feel better.

Are you doing enough of the things that make you feel good? 

#30 Surf To Surf baby!

It's no secret that I love to run.  Whether I'm fit and uninjured is always another story. 

I wrote in an earlier post "And Running Will Set You Free" about my goal to run a marathon that was shot down in flames when I got sick. 

My knees tell me these days that a marathon might be out of the question, but a half-marathon, one day.... who knows.

Every January we have the annual Surf to Surf Fun Run event.  There are 3km run/walk, 6km run/walk or a 10km run.  I've ticked off the 3km run and 6km walk and tomorrow am preparing for the 6km run.  I'm slow, but as me and my running buddy Jodes discovered, we can run up hills.  Thank goodness because it is one HILLY course.

I won't be alone, there'll be me and Jodes of course, plus my team mates from work - check us out in the The Standard article - and about 2000 other people.

Another item to tick off the bucket list.  Next year we'll aim for the 10km.  Should be a walk in the park!

#29 Mil Gracias

I don't know what it is about 2014, but since the clock struck 12am on January 1st, I have been oozing with gratitude.  It's really cool.  Just like I have this new-found ability to appreciate, well, everything.

Tonight, for example, tired from staring at a computer all day (yet grateful for my job!), I wanted to go home and lie on my couch and watch TV.  Instead, I was grateful to have a wonderful friend come and take me and Alby (the dog), for a long walk.  I felt thankful for the fresh air and the beach and wonderful walking tracks that we have.

She then suggested we knock up some dinner, so while she went to buy some fresh fish, I raided my fridge and found the perfect ingredients for Mediterranean roast vegetables.  Perfect.  Thankful for the healthy and fresh food in my refrigerator and company for dinner.

You know that new song by Pharrell - Happy - it's from the Despicable Me 2 soundtrack - well, I challenge you NOT to be grateful for that song once you hear it.  I'm still singing it in my head.

My friend has gone home and now I'm sitting in absolute contentment, writing on my blog, full of gratitude for the avenue with which to share my thoughts.  Grateful for the company of my little dog.  Looking forward to the last day of the working week and excited to be going to the movies tomorrow night with another fabulous friend.

Do yourself a favour and ask yourself, what are you grateful for today?

#28 Thanks For Everything 2013

Dear 2013,

Well, what a year you have been.

This year I've enjoyed much more balance.  I've taken photos, danced salsa and written to my heart's content.  I've travelled to far away places and some not so far.  I've spent precious days, hours and minutes with the people I love the most in the world. 

I've been more present.  More content.  Calm.  Happy.  At peace.  More accepting.

There's been more emotional distance from things that don't hurt as much anymore.

I've been moved by art, music, movies.  My concert list for 2013 is impressive: Bruce Springsteen; Counting Crows; Mama Kin; Kate Miller Heidke; Pink; Matt Corby; Fall Out Boy; Bon Jovi...... I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

The breast reconstruction is complete.  My hair is long.  Chemo brain is disappearing.

I have only true, healthy friendships.  I'm so blessed.

This time next year I hope I can look back and say "Wow!  I couldn't have imagined how wonderful 2014 was going to be.  I feel blessed and loved and so happy to be alive."

I wish all of you a happy and healthy new year.  May 2014 be FABULOUS for all of us.

Jodie
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